After an endless search in all the right and wrong places, I came to a very simple realization on figuring out what kind of a life to live. It turns out that what I love more to do than anything, is to set my mind free on exploring ideas, associating thoughts. Whether it’s dreaming, thinking, talking with other free minded thinkers or participating in activities with or without others, that keep my mind free to explore any option without obstacles, I am at the happiest place I can be. Like children in a sandbox really. It took me a little over forty one years to figure that out. Since then, my entire range of choices has forever changed.
There are two key ingredients to discovering who you really are, based on my method. To understand of course in which situations you thrive best, and which situations you thrive worst. To understand how you are affected is very important, what affects you, and not least who and why they affect you.
I can’t stand being around people that will question the realism of my ideas, because they are still growing. I can’t stand doing work that doesn’t require me to improve myself and the assignment. And I can’t stand lifestyle choices anymore that hinder me from being able to brainstorm for a living, like partying with it’s hangover and the chaos from people going nowhere in life. Yet, I chose this in the past, and a lot more, because I had no idea what was most important to me.
On the other hand, I enjoy talking with open minded brainstormers for hours in a park, getting nothing done. I love doing uncomfortable things, like bathing in the ice cold ocean, because it makes my mind even better. I even loved getting dirty, cleaning a clogged drain once, because I got to choose the tools, the method and the timeframe. I love doing boring things, IF there is a challenge involved that requires abstract thinking. Not least with people that think like me. Money is fun, but it doesn’t make us feel alive. Being in our true element does.
- What kind of people make your day/life worse or better?
- What kind of assignments make your day/life worse or better?
- What kind of situations make your day/life worse or better?
- And how are you affected by those?
The reasons we love or hate things, don’t necessarily have to be clear clues for what we truly are, but an indicator of who, what and how we are? You might love being a dancing teacher because it involves socializing, moving, teaching, watching people grow, being a leader, or something completely different. Your true element doesn’t have to be a dancing teacher, it can be that the job simply lets your true inner self shine. It can also very well be that teaching dancing, is exactly the core of your being.
A deep indicator can also be found in the escapism you choose. I loved weed because it blocked out the world’s noise and sharpened my focus, it helped me brainstorm in a life I wasn’t aligned with. I also prefer chatting over talking, because it doesn’t interrupt my workflow, and makes it possible to share ideas with ten different people simultaneously, without being interrupted by talking. If talking with more than one person, I simply go silent and back to my thoughts, because small talk isn’t for me. Maybe it’s exactly what makes you happy? Maybe small talk engagement in a social setting is a clear indicator that you love figuring out society and people?
How do you prefer getting things done? In groups? Alone? On a deadline? With no deadline? What have been your greatest victories, to you and not according to others? Nowadays, anyone can find or create a career to their preference. Do you like attention? Or prefer to plan in the shadows? How about your execution style? Via careful long-term planning, or a swift and spontaneous execution? You like both? Maybe you’re a magician.
Figuring out what you truly loath, is just as important as learning what you love. If we can’t define our dream life in simple terms, chances are that anyone will try and affect our choices. Not least the people closest to us, it’s a human trait for sure, to unknowingly seek the limits in others, that we can cross for personal gain. An added benefit of being 100% self aware, is that I have no need anymore to cross other people’s limits, nor any interest in working or living with people that have that need. When you become this free, you wish the same for everybody else. Are your parents pushing you towards a career that will make THEM happy and make THEM look good, with bragging credits amongst their friends? Perhaps it’s time you get very serious about who you are?
Establishing finally who, what and how I am, has made me immune to any kind of manipulation. The benefits are many and it feels like having a superpower. For the first time in my life I’m powerful and relaxed at the same time. Moving forward with no pressure of getting there.
So ask yourself if you are lost in life:
- What and who makes you annoyed, and how?
- What and who makes you feel great, and how?
Ask these questions all day long in your head as good and bad things happen, and lo and behold, chances are you will see a pattern emerge. A pattern for what to do less and a pattern for what to do more. You might even realize that some things you never noticed, made your day/life worse or better. New indicators on what to say good bye to and what to say hello to.
Please be patient, my a-ha moment came after forty one years, from birth. It can take a lot of time finding the answers, to try out different things in life to get closer to the answers and to change your life. Sometimes we even have to say good bye to some family and friends, and that can take time to grow courage to do. Then again, I didn’t have this article to speed things up. I’m looking forward to meeting you here, it’s a wonderful place to be in life.