When you understand how your subconscious dominates your life, making social sacrifices becomes important and normal.
Yesterday, I hung out with a friend who’s intellect I appreciate greatly, for the last time until a new goal is met. This is a new project I’m working on, to shuffle my social circles with one single aim, gathering winner mentality types around me to be infected by their spirits and to reprogram my mind in order for my subconscious to work on, and not against, my very purpose in life. There will be more farewells of this type, as I love these people and wish to meet them again one day, but not before my path is in a set routine.
This person has a deep disliking for capitalistic and materialistic success, claiming that my personality will be degraded to the point of her disliking me tremendously, shall I succeed on my path. We exchanged heaps of logic on both sides of the matter and had our usual comfy fun as well. Now, something interesting happened that I have never noticed before, because my mind was full of chaos. During our short time together, I began developing extreme levels of guilt; guilt for wanting to succeed, guilt for wanting prosperity instead of poverty, guilt for trying to be healthy and guilt for not aiming for homelessness, as was one of her advice; “Perhaps you should aim for homelessenss and poverty instead of your big goals?” This guilt is still nagging me today, like a pest.
Are guilt and doubt the exact same thing?
Í believe this guilt to be the BIG doubt I was talking about in the last article. This terribly dominant feeling is so subtle, because it’s so deeply rooted, that it turns most of us away from going after the life we want. Perhaps because failed dreams are the expectations of society? The associated health problems I’m talking about are very evident today. My brain is much more foggy than usually, like falling back a few weeks. Today, I’m drifting between a clear mind and the dreadful, dreamlike state that I got rid of by slaughtering my inner victim.
If I hadn’t evolved so much recently, experience promises that I would be reaching for alcohol and cannabis again, to escape this horrible guilt. Not to mention an underlying desire to spend time with hopeless people at the bar, whom can’t see how far off their natural path they are, perpetual victims that own up to their escape by being proud of their losers way of being. Call me arrogant, but I’m merely describing myself here, a few months ago.
It only takes a little dose of negativity to disrupt a person in toxic recovery.
I believe this social time yesterday with a toxic friend to be a trigger for past routines of hopelessness and I’m certain that the brain produces chemicals that match the past, once we find ourselves in a similar situation again. Getting out of my loser’s routine of the past will require tremendous amounts of work, over a very long period of time. I’m expecting years of constant work just to get to my natural tops shape, followed by a set lifestyle the rest of my life, to never fall back to where I used to be.
Furthermore, it took a whole workout at the gym this morning to just sweat out parts of her influence, to the point where my knees began hurting. I woke up drained and am willing to admit, that other people’s vibes may be the number one influence on our health in general. Maybe even more important than food, exercise and attitude. The lesson has certainly been learned. I got a life to live, a child that looks up to me, a future to enjoy and a world full of amazing opportunities.
Choose your friends wisely!
Thank you for reading and may today bring clarity, love and good vibes,
P.s.: I miss this person already, this is no easy sacrifice.