Enough is fucking enough!
I’ve been sinking deeper and deeper into the abyss of victim mentality for so long, I don’t remember what it means to be alive. Every thought, action and word smells of blaming and complaining and I’ve come to realize that my only problem, my only obstacle, is my attitude, my mentality, my mindset.
I live in Aarhus, Denmark, a rising sun in the modern era of entrepreneurship, with university students from every nation, excelling at unpronounceable new areas of breakthroughs in science, cutting edge internet technology, in this and that with opportunities so many, they’d satisfy the minds of 500 Leonardo DaVinci’s.
Every decision we make, every thought we think and every action we take, is a reflection of our self-image, a mirror of our actual self-worth.
Figuring this out just few days ago, was the first spark in a chain reaction that led to an explosion about an hour ago, enough is fucking enough!
Tomorrow, regardless of my current abilities, I WILL apply for a job, any job, regardless of my chances, just to get up off my lazy victim ass and break this habit of drowning in my own pile of shit. I’m turning forty-one years old this coming April and it’s hard to accept that I’ve been stupid enough to make the kind of choices that led me to become a homeless drug addict, at the age of 38.
I’m done with the smooth easy welfare ride to gradually rise above the ashes of my mistakes. In fact, I feel like throwing up at the thought of one more meeting about my current status, with incredibly well-meaning people by the way. It’s just such a damn choking feeling to be wandering around in the dark one day more.
Three months ago I realized I can draw, as the picture in this article show, not bad for a beginner. I can write, evident here on this blog and play the guitar better than most, yet here I am, a loser, a victim, a sinking ship with no captain and a drunk navigator, turning forty-one years old, with no education, no savings, nothing to show for really, except for one thing, this burning desire to succeed.
This fire of victory cannot ever be suffocated, it can be kept down for a long time, but eventually, it finds a little crack and sets the whole dreadful life of a loser on fire, so bright that anything becomes possible.
This is not one of those “tomorrow I’ll conquer the world,” kind of moments. This is a defining moment that says; “right here and now, I’m a victim no more, I got a nasty battle ahead of me and I’ll do whatever it fucking takes to get what I want.” Even if it takes 50 years, the important part is to wake up and get going.
I want a nice life filled with opportunities with no evil regrets. Simple as that. Besides getting and keeping a job as a proper employee, I got the arts, the writings and the music to monetize on one day, not to mention an old dream of investing. With the algorithm technologies nowadays, one doesn’t have to be Warren Buffet to make some decent income in that field. Plus some larger projects in a more distant future. All in it’s time.
I want to move to a Greek island one day, enjoying physical pleasures with a handful of lovers, access to Greece’s incredible food and a workspace to unite my dreams with even bigger minds to create something spectacular. Thousands of people are doing that already and now my only obstacle from exponential growth and a whole lot of disruption, has been given a last notice.
So many of us just fall asleep around the age of forty and don’t bother to restart to break out of the many habits we’ve compiled over the years. During my time as a homeless drug addict, I promised myself that I’d NEVER get back there and eventually came to the conclusion that I’d go as high in life as I was low back then.
When the desire to succeed overcomes the desire to loose, our spirits break free of whatever limitations we have created in the past.
It is never too late to wake up.
Thank you for reading and get that lazy ass of yours into action as well!