Sometimes, the best we can do for others, is what we do for ourselves.
As my sobriety keeps extending, I’ve noticed that I simply don’t see a point in being around people that have been under the influence the day before, and people that drink or use drugs, including cannabis, on a daily basis. These people’s minds are simply too full of chaos for me to bother having them around too much. Life itself demands our focus on important issues all the time and the interruptions from confused people can become a major obstacle.
This does indeed benefit others, because it helps keeping my head clear and clean, making me of a more useful company for those I do associate myself with, not least my own kid. After losing too much health because of lousy choices, I really don’t care if anyone else less important than my kid, feels rejected by my standards. Besides the fact that when I do meet people that are under the influence, their provocations don’t reach me, which is a win for both.
It all boils down to our core values.
Once you know and respect your core values, you become a solid rock. Nothing or no one can take you off course. You become unbeatable and what ever people do or say, passess very fast, because you now have a foundation far stronger than most people. That foundation shapes every decision you make, paving the way towards your goals and dreams.
Realizing that my nr. 1 core value had become health, as it’s the foundation to every other core value, such as family, things changed fast. Some people can’t keep up, and find me to be arrogant and so forth, because I don’t accept every type of personalities in my life anymore. Well, so be it. Life gets hard sometimes and we better weed out the obstacles before disaster strikes. Just do it with respect, being a douche is an obstacle in it self.
What you don’t tolerate from yourself, you shouldn’t tolerate from others.
This can be quite hard for certain types to understand. When I don’t tolerate myself taking a single sip of alcohol, which is most minutes of the year, I usually don’t tolerate drunk people near me. If they insist on talking, I’ll find a way, even if it’s a lie. I prefer the company of peak performers and high achievers, as their attitudes are aligned with my path.
Your life should be defined by yourself. It is never too late to change the road you’re on. You can start right now by asking yourself what the most important thing in your life is, then gradually make the smallest changes and don’t be discouraged when you give up, it happens to everybody. You just get back up, even if it takes weeks, and keep on going. You will get there eventually.
Your core values are yours to define, yours to defend and yours to enforce.
Thank you for reading and start setting those limits,